Casual Fired Day

How To Get Fired

Hate your job but having a hard time finding a way to quit? Leaving a job is in many ways like breaking up with a bad lover, or cutting loose a friend you've grown apart from. It's about as easy as smacking a puppy in the face. Do you ever feel like.... a plastic bag? No seriously, do you ever feel like it'd be a lot easier if they ended things first? Then you wouldn't have to feel guilty, and you would be the one who spends all day in your pajamas eating Ben and Jerry's Cake Batter ice-cream.

Wouldn't it be easier if they just fired you? Well, yes, it would. Then you wouldn't have to explain that your colleagues' vomit-inducing B.O problem is making you feel like you're going through the early stages of pregnancy, or that you think your boss might have forged his degree certificate.

Yes, it'd be much easier if they ditched you first. So here's how to say 'it's not you, it's me' to your job without saying a word.



Leave raw meat on your desk.
Casually press it to your face every now and again. If anyone asks you about it, pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.






Insist on always speaking through a mega-phone.
And find lots of reasons to speak. Ask permission to go to the toilet, narrate your own stream of consciousness, recite the lords prayer every time someone enters or leaves the room.





Have a screaming match with your laptop.
Re-enact a break-up scene with your Mac. Tell it that you hate the way it looks at other Macs.







Take your dog to work.
Leave every hour to take it for a walk. If anyone complains, cry inconsolably. Like this. :-D









Naked Friday.
Simply forget to wear clothes. Actually, this might not work. If your pervy boss decides it's a good idea, then you're still working a job you hate, in a naked office.





Wear an lycra leopard print body suit.
Refuse to do anything except lean on an imaginary filing cabinet.









Only thing worse than wearing a bad outfit? Sharing a bad outfit. Team up with a few equally unhappy colleagues (or better still, someone who doesn't work there at all). You can just use tinfoil if you can't find a dress big enough. Use sparingly, and don't forget to top it all off with a look of utter disapproval.