TRAVEL: Shenzhen

Shenzannigans
A voyage to the land of bargains, bags and blisters.

Shenzhen is somewhat less than glamorous; crowds of keen shoppers rushing about, trying to dodge the shopkeepers who insist that their bags are the best; the smell of deep fried street food mingling with that smell of cheap, plastic shoes; and outlets of Macdonalds and Starbucks littered between huge multi-storey shopping centres.

It may not be the premier holiday destination for hong kongers looking for a relaxing weekend away, but if you can handle crowds and pushy touts, Shenzhen is a paradise for bargain-seekers. You'll find things you never knew you needed, like 400GB data keys, wireless i-phone chargers and more Jimmy Choo bags than you can wave a stick at.

Beware the Warehouse

A word of warning for the newbies. These shopkeepers can smell a first-timer from a mile away. If you're looking for a leather handbag, you may be asked to go to their warehouse, where they have 'much more stock'. Obviously, don't go alone, and don't get split up from your friends because the 'lift is too full'. Honestly, the whole experience may feel pretty safe, but you can't be too careful.
Once you've walked a few blocks on your already tired feet (perhaps down a main road with no sidewalk), escorted by several shop assistants (aren't they nice and helpful... ho leng? oh, thank you!), you take the lift up to the warehouse (which may indeed turn out to be a 600sqft apartment with the exact same bags as every other shop you've just looked in). You're tired, it's late, you really need a new handbag, and you don't feel like walking all the way back to the shopping centre... the shopkeepers know this, and may (almost certainly) try to take advantage by over-charging you (for example, the 'last price' for a Jimmy Choo bag may be declared at $380, when just twenty minutes later you manage to buy the exact same bag for $100.)
Just remember; these people are not your 'friends', they're workers trying to make a living, so don't be blinded by flattery, be polite, and only pay what you think is fair to both parties.

Spa O'clock

After a long day of shopping, your feet are bound to be aching inside your brand-new so-pretty but-not-very-comfortable-or-practical $45 shoes. Shenzhen abounds with spas, so take your pick; but choose carefully. Queen Spa is regarded as one of the best, and frequented by many visitors. On first inspection, it seemed to be a giant people-factory, housing thousands of relaxed shoppers, who wandered around in matching pink and striped pajamas and flip-flops. Though initially it felt like we'd joined some strange faux-Buddhist pajama cult, we were definitely more the 'mass relaxation' sort than the 'mass suicide' sort. The free ice-cream, a complimentary fruit bar, and huge reclining chairs that you can hire by the hour, to watch films on your personal tv screen, or snore along with the 60 people who surround you; as a first-timer, this is a pretty surreal and not unpleasant experience.

On arrival, we spent about half an hour poring over the 'Consumption Menu', listing treatments, services and activities from swimming, body scrubs, massages, and Vichy showers to restaurants, majhong, pool and poker, not to mention public and private cinema screens.
There are five floors, some are communal and some are single sex. If you go with opposite sex friends, remember to agree a meeting place inside because the place is large enough to get lost in. Take a bathing suit for the pool, and a change of clothes to leave in your locker. As for treatments, the body scrub in invigorating, but we had to wait quite a long time to be seen, and the staff put on the pressure when it came to ticking the 'tips' column at the end of the scrub. Also, unless you want to be indecently propositioned, don't use the screens to choose your (heavily made-up, short-skirted) masseuse. The massage itself wasn't outstanding; my masseuse kept leaving the room during the first 15 minutes, and she told me to relax (as though the knots in my back were deliberate). After the 90 minutes, my aches felt somewhat aggravated rather than soothed, and she completely forgot to do my feet, but then again, I am a tricky customer when it comes to massages. Still, I'd prefer Warm Feeling house in LKF any day.

Rather than attempting to sleep amongst a crowd of strangers, we hired a four person VIP room, with fully-reclining chairs and individual TV screens. We ordered some food via the (very entertaining) multi-coloured 'call attendant' light. Our attendant told us we could order anything - though apparently this does not include french fries, - after waiting about 30 minutes, they came to tell us that they didn't have any after all.

We slept for about five hours, and then paid our dues and made our way back to the shopping centres for another twelve hours of bargains, bags and blisters. The verdict? A great budget get-away option, but be careful that you don't get carried away and spend more money than you intend to. It certainly feels less stressful if you're with an experienced Shenzhenner, especially one who speaks Mandarin. Definitely worth a visit, as long as you keep your wits about and your comfiest shoes close by.